I love you man...

Clean one liners for your wedding speech

We thought you may like somethings to laugh about

• At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man

• After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'

• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

• Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

• I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

• Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

• My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

• A husband said to his wife, 'No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.'

• A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, 'OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.'

• How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

• A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Let us know what you think...
Cheers Peter Bruce Photo & team bELLE